Ok we are doing it !! No more procrastinating, no more questions..
Ive been a witch from the darkest village this past weeks as I come to terms with the deep intense, never leaving me for a moment fear that has taken up residence in my heart.
I cant put my finger on what it is I am so afraid of.. fear of failure, fear of motherhood, or just plain and simple fear of the unknown!
My ’emotional wellbeing angel’ (my delightful accupuncturist) suggests its probably all of the above AND says its completely natural. ‘Be gentle with yourself and accept this is how you feel… dont keep trying to fight it or dig too much to pin point why’ were her wise and loving words of wisdom.
Last night we went to the ‘Professor of Sperm’ to sign all the IVF documents and get a run down of how the process is all going to go. To our surprise, as it was the first day of my period, he said ‘ok lets rock and roll!!!’
He gave me the nasal spray Syneral with instructions to start shooting it up each of my nostrils from now on twice a day morning and night, 12 hours apart and left his office with prescriptions for Bravelle and Gonel F and instructions to return on Friday to learn how to inject these.
We were stunned. Wow gosh.. we are doing it !!! Thats it, we are on the horse, no more procrastinating. It felt good. We were filled with a sense of excitement and ironically, a lightness of emotions that we have both not felt for months. So much of the fear just seemed to melt away.
We are officially in the IVF process, we are trying a new way to have a baby.. and it feels… well.. great!!
Filed under: Emotional Health, IVF PROCESS, Life Questions | Tagged: children after 40, having children, IVF Forum, IVF ideas, IVF info, IVF tips, ivf-blog, ivf-cost, ivf-funding, ivf-hormones, ivf-medication, ivf-new-techniques, ivf-over-35, ivf-over-40, ivf-statistics, problems getting pregnant, trying-to-concieve |