Dr Feelgood stikes again

Are you getting your daily hit of  Validation?

Though the message is simple, its obviously one people needed and wanted to hear.  Written directed and composed by Kurt Kuenne and starring TJ Thyne & Vicki Davis, Validation has won a string of esteemed awards and gained immense popularity around the globe. 

Validation’s Awards

* Best Narrative Short –  Cleveland International Film Festival

* Best Short Comedy – Hawaii International Film Festival

* Crystal heart Award – Breckenridge Festival of Film

* Best Short Film & Audience Award – Heartland Film Festival

* Best Short Film – Sedona International Film Festival

* Christopher & Dana Reeve Audience Award –  Williamstown Film Festival

* Best Comedy – Dam Short Film Festival

* Audience Award – Gen Art Chicago Film Festival

* Jury Award Winner

Validation..  we all need it from time to time

 

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I’m Great You’re Great she says

Lousie Hay  Im wonderful, you’re wonderful, we’re all wonderful 

Reminding ourselves we are wonderful is something many of us forget in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, though as lousie hay points out.. its really important to find the time or we begin to suffer the consequences.

Take a look at this clip and be inspired to see the good, the wonderful and the absolute amazing-ness of who you are.  Its only takes a few minutes… and YOU deserve it!! 

Love yourself it’s a gift you deserve to give yourself…


Related Posts and Articles:

IVF at 41 is going fabulously!

courtesy of bbc.co.uk

courtesy of bbc.co.uk

Im in the final stages of my first IVF treatment and so far my expereince has been a really positive one. Everything was much easier and a whole lot less emotional than either myself or my husband ever imagined it would be. 

Of course we are all individuals and each will respond differently to the treatment. My story is just one experience. However I felt compelled to share it on the off chance that women searching the internet to get an idea of the expereince they may go through, may come across my IVF story and take some ‘feel good energy’ from me.

I remember when I was considering IVF treatment, I was gripped with fear. It all seemed so clinical and cold. Searching the internet I found more horror stories than positive ones and the stories shared in casual conversations about friends of friends just fed the fear rather than calmed the nerves.

By  writing and sharing my story, from the actual decision to have a child at 41 to finding the doctor and beginning IVF treatment,  I have hoped to perhaps be the positive feedback for women that I struggled so hard to find in my searches.  

Ive written posts on my experience from day one of the treatment (all filed under IVF on my home page) and  have been truly humbled by the beautiful connections made with women around the globe who have appreciated my ramblings. Many were, like me, petrified of process and most named the adverse effects of the hormone treatment on emotions as one of their greatest fears. Quite understandable..I was the same who wants to turn into a big bad nasty witch!

My experience has been so positive in this aspect. I have been astounded how simple, easy and smooth the process has been, how little effect the hormones have had one me and how relaxed it is actually possible to be in the treatment. (this is a choice obviously and takes focus, but it is possible)

I am 41.  ‘Quite old’ according to Doctors and a point, they for some reason, have felt important to remind me of on numerous occasions. (not great for the self esteem, hence my post on my emotional wellbeing angel) Add to the age factor, the quality of my husbands sperm, his little swimmers are not really in the greatest of conditions and yes, that made us a classic IVF couple.

 We tried to conceive naturally for 6 months without success. and then began looking into IVF treatment feeling this was the next logical step.  As Ive mentioned, so far its been ok. Well more than ok, the IVF process has been, all things considered, a breeze.

The hormones didnt effect me very much, apart from a bit of tiredness and a little weight gain. Its actually more like bloating, but I was so overwhelmed at how smooth everything was going that feeling a bit ‘fat’ seemed easy to deal with.  

The daily hormone needles ended up being, in a weird sort of way, an opportunity for my husband and I to feel deeply connected to one another in the treatment.  Im totally afraid of needles, so in the daily ritual of injecting me, my husband witnessed both my vulnerability and fear. He developed a very sweet compassion for what I, the woman was going through and within him, a sort of admiration grew. He saw me as being really brave. It was nice.

And here we are, in the final stages. On wednesday, my eggs were taken out. Not a difficult process. You go under for 20 minutes while they do the removal and then spend an hour or two in the hospital afterwards, to let the saline drip put some liquids back in to the system and to have something to eat.

courtesy of bbc.co.uk

courtesy of bbc.co.uk

You are then sent home with instructions to take the anibiotics twice a day and to begin inserting the vaginal tablets 3 times a day.  (hubby graciously offered to be responsible for this chore..bless him.. any opportunity to be up close and personal with his beloved V… I declined his kind offer )  

They took out 13 eggs in total, apparently a great result. 9 eggs were of good enough quality to inject the sperm into and today (friday) when I went back to have the eggs transferred back inside me, we were told all 9 eggs fertilised.

The Doctor decided (because of my age) to put 3 eggs back inside me. This took about 10 minutes and was not at all painful or scary.  And now its a waiting game. In 12 days we have an appointment to go and have a blood test to see if I am pregnant. Gosh !!  Modern technology amazes me. Its mind blowing.. absolutely Mad.  Mad Mad Mad!!!

Who knows what the results will be. Its now in the lap of the gods!  For now my emotional wellbeing is where I am putting my focus. Being relaxed, happy and thinking positive thoughts. Im visualising being a mother, Im doing guided meditations to connect with my eggs to let them know how very welcome they are in my body and Im doing reiki on myself.  My goal is to have as much positive energy around and within me and to feel at ease.  A daily ritual is a great idea to help with this.

Daily chakra clearing meditations help me to feel I am keeping my energy flowing at its best for conception and asking angels to be close to my side helps me to feel I am being supported by the universe.  All a bit airy fairy I know, but I love ‘airy fairy’ and I really feel its helped me have the positive experience Ive had so far.

We’ll see..  Ill write again in 12 days with an update. 


Until then, much love
mysticmiss

Why a generation delayed becoming parents?

 

photo courtesy of rogermoore.com

photo courtesy of rogermoore.com

Mine is a generation who have enjoyed possibly the most incredible degree of personal freedom of any generation to date. Utilizing this freedom, our lives have become immensly diverse. We have truly experienced life within a global community. 

Could the realisation of our opportunity to be part of a bigger whole, be the reason why many of us have delayed having a family? 

Did it simply give us so much to consider and open so many previously unknown doors to us, that the once traditional transition of adulthood equalling parenthood simply not stimulate us as much as the need to integrate more deeply into our ‘community’ and explore its boundaries?

What is a community?  The oxford dictionary states a community is ‘a body of people living in one place or united by origin or interests’ 

Wikipedia goes further to say ‘the definition of the word has evolved and been enlarged to mean individuals who share characteristics, regardless of their location or type of interaction.’ 

For me, community is the circle of people I live within, the area I live within and consider I am apart of and the area/people I feel I am responsible for. It is the space and the people I care about.

My community is what I consider when making decisions on where to work, live, invest, explore and learn from. Its the area/people I know, I feel safe in and feel I belong to.

Lets take a step back in time to the gereration before mine, for they paved the way. A small number of this generation began to break with tradition. Courageously deciding to act on the yearning within to know the world more, a wave of people began venturing outside their comfort zone and into the relative unknown, exploring the world and connecting with the people.

These adventurous souls were not the first ever global explorers. Not by a long shot, there have been many throughout history. What stands them apart from others however, was their intention not conquer, but to integrate, to learn and to unite. (Think yoga, Buddhism, chakra healing, reiki, tai chi etc)

Our generation took these courageous seekers’ ideals to another level, we created the tipping point.  We, as a mass, grasped the reality of our community being a GLOBAL entity, consisting of the entire population on earth. 

Consider how many friends, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends you know who have gone travelling, exploring and generally living as though the entire globe is his/her home. Living in the reality that the whole world’s opportunities are theirs for consideration. 

How many people do you know that have lived abroad for work or worked for a foreign company based in your own nation? How many people do you know live outside their country of origin? How many people do you know have had a romantic connection/relationship with someone from another country?   How many people do you know that have studied in another country? Or Volunteered abroad?

Now ask your parents and grandparents the same questions for people in their age group. The difference in the results is quite astounding.

Consider for a moment, how many of the ‘things’ that make up your life, come from the global community. The fitness disciplines you enjoy, the food you eat, the movies you watch, the authors you read?  Its simply amazing isnt it, how fast we as a global community have integrated in the last 40 years.

We have been blessed with endless opportunities to explore, experience and reach for goals and dreams regardless how far outside the box they seem. Our minds’ visual boundaries or visual  horizons now naturally span far greater than they ever have done before.

Though our eyes still see perhaps the same ‘real’ distance as our parents, our capability to visualise a reality far greater than this has developed immensely. 

This new vision gently nudged our perspective on life to expand. And with the world a bigger place,  the prospect of staying in one place, settling down and having children seemed not to, for a significant number, to necessarily hold the same appeal as it once did. 

Life offered so many exciting adventures, it seemed ‘almost a crime’ not to try to fulfill some of our wildest dreams before moving into parenthood.  

I’m not saying my generation have not had children. They have, and in great numbers.  Im saying the age for moving to this ‘next phase’ in life changed dramatically for a large number of this generation. Thoughts of parenthood have come much much later and in a significant number, not at all. 

Being one of those ‘much much later’ kiddos, I now ponder on the situation I find myself in.  Deciding to have children at an age that Doctors tell me is almost ‘too late’, I question more deeply, where myself, my experiences and those of others like me fit within the greater global community. What is the impact of our decisions?

Did chosing the fun and adventure of travelling and immersing myself into the global community over the more traditional path of settling down, getting married and becoming a parent, have dire consequences?

I have never felt bad for the life choices I’ve made. Never. I have always been proud of my life. Though, as I move into my own parenthood phase, questions now rise. 

Did  my life choices signify an immature soul,  a girl who refused to grow up and take responsibility OR am I simply an example of the natural evolution of the human species.  

With natural global resources being stretched by the current population,  perhaps this phenomenon of late bloomers is simply an unconscious global balancing act in play.  

Or perhaps, the global community needed wandering souls, to encourage integration, to break the old moulds of race superiority.

Or even,  it was simply time to acknowledge and honor each souls uniqueness, which after all is the essence of the global community. Thus to a major degree, wiping out the old perception that outcast people and saw them as being inferior simply because they did not reproduce.

Or lastly,  perhaps it was important for a large portion of the population to live lives full of free spiritedness and personal development in order to gain a new type of wisdom. A wisdom that ultimately will allow the next generation to experience an even greater sense of freedom than we ourselves have enjoyed.

If only I could click my fingers and the answer would magically appear!  It would be a great help!

Reality is, I’m 41 and now trying to have a child. Not being able conceive naturally due to problems with my husbands sperm, we are going down the IVF route. (modern technology is amazing)

Listening to the doctors, I don’t know if we will succeed. Its a bit unnerving, though I try to keep open hearted about it all.  After all its not the end of the world if I don’t become a parent. Is it?

Having lived my life by the motto that ‘life knows whats its doing always’ it will be interesting to witness my acceptance of life’s decision on this one? 

Trusting that life wants what is best for me is the belief system I have lived my life by til now. So I’ll just do what needs doing  with all my heart… and we’ll see.

Until next time

much love Mysticmiss

How to Communicate the Need for Personal Space in Love.

 

Artist - Sofan Chan

Artist - Sofan Chan

        How does one express their personal needs in relationships? 

It’s possibly, one of the most frequently asked questions by those who have come to the realisation that some personal needs simply cannot not be satisfied by a partner. 

Our happiness depends on listening to these needs and taking responsibility for them.

When we do this for ourselves, we unconsciously  give our partner/friends/family permission to do the same. 

Most relationships began with an intense period of togetherness and will at some stage move into a period where the togetherness feels ‘too much’ and a need or some ‘me’ time arises.

While this is a natural stage in relationships, it is usually difficult for couples to share their need for more space with their partner. All to often the conversation becomes a nasty slanging match of blame and criticising and ends with tears and bad feelings.  

Showing compassion towards the other when expressing these needs is the essential key. It is not the others fault that you feel like you do, nor is it your fault. These feelings are natural, so there is no need at all for blame. 

The best and most effective method is simply to be honest! Whatever your need is, communicate it.  If you need to spend some time alone say so. If you miss your friends, say so. If you are feeling agitated and annoyed and need to just have a little time by yourself, in a familiar environment, say so.  There is nothing wrong with these needs and there is no need for blame (even if you feel at the time it is the others fault, dont go there, keep focussed on your need)

‘I am missing my friends. I am going to try to meet with them a little more often.’ 

‘I am feeling really moody at the moment and think Im going to spend a little time alone this week.’

Love is expressed so sweetly when you are able to be honest and truthful while taking another’s feelings into consideration too.

Once you have expressed yourself with an open heart, go take the time you need, knowing that you are going with the natural flow of life.

Aloneness and Togetherness are two sides of the same coin and united, create the colourful spectrum of Deep love.

Until next time

mysticmiss

For MORE tips on LOVE visit: Love – Fact is its hard work

Love – The Fact is…. it takes work!

courtesy of the art of happiness.com

courtesy of the art of happiness.com

 

If one listens to all the hype on love and reads all the fluffy books available, one could easily be mistaken in thinking that love is easy, that love is a breeze.

Reality is however, although love is one of the most amazingly wonderful  experiences we will have in our lives, it can be hard work.  It takes enormous effort and awareness to really experience love in all its magnificence. 

Ask anyone who has loved deeply for long periods… all will say the same ..there are many moments on the journey of love when love doesnt feel very magnificent at all!!! 

There are three general stages of love.  The Honeymoon period is a truly magical experience. Everything is so rosy, so right and so much fun. Its full with desire, wonderment and lust and the unforgettable thrill of connecting to a new body and a new energy feels amazing.

This person, with their new ideas, new opinions, new dreams and new perspective on life is so stimulating.. Wow wow wow we say to ourselves, love feels absolutely fantastic!!

The next phase on the love journey however, is a little less grandiose, though very necessary to experience in order  to get to the more meaningful reality of love.

Sometimes it takes a year, sometimes 2 weeks, but it happens, stage two arrives and  it’s when the ‘work’ in love begins. Things about your partner begin to get on your nerves. Things that you once loved about him/her because it made them unique, made them different than anyone you have known before, now start driving you absolutely crazy.

The unusual habits and the moods no longer amuse you, let alone thrill you. Buttons begin to get pressed, insecurities surface, tempers start to flair and life together is now more volatile. Life with the other starts to feel uncomfortable. Sounding a little familiar?

‘Different’ now no longer holds the same appeal. A yearning for something more familiar creeps up. You start to feel like you need more space, like you want to take a bit of your life back. You begin to realise that this ‘together all the time’ business is a maybe a little too much for you. You just want some aloneness, some ‘me’ time!

Sadly, so many potentially interesting  and deeply satisfying relationships finish when this period arrives. The change is too uncomfortable, the honeymoon was so nice and easy.. who needs this struggle!!

However, it is in this period, that love can really begin to grow. All these feelings that make one question our love are completely NATURAL!!! It doesnt mean that there is a flaw in your love, or that the love has disappeared, it simply means that the other side of the coin is now having its time in the spotlight.

There are two sides to every experience, to everything in our reality. Day night, joy sadness, aloneness togetherness, rain drought, full moon no moon, high low, valleys mountains..I can go on and on with examples..but the important realisation is that one does not exist without the other. Or more specifically, we would not know the existence of one without the other.

In the blissful honeymoon period, feelings of togetherness are strongly experienced, hence it is only natural that this feeling will transform to a need for aloneness. Nothing wrong with this, its the way, our wise inner self brings balance to our lives.

There is a wide spectrum of feelings to be experienced in love and the need for more space and  moodiness towards one another are simply part of the program. 

It’s how you deal with these challenges as they arise, how you communicate your needs to the other, that opens the door for the fowering of love. Learning to give respect and to have tolerance are very necessary in love.

Accepting these feelings when they arise and not going too deeply into them is the key.  There is no need to feel uncomfortable, they are completely natural.

Rather than projecting your need onto your partner by blaming him/her that its not working or you need to get away because they are doing ‘this’ or ‘that’, take responsibility for them.  Your needs are natural, they arise in all relationships, there is no need for blame, none at all.

Its natural a partner may feel a little hurt or insecure hearing your needs for the first time. After all until now you have been happy to be with them.  Remember, It is no fault of theirs, or yours, that these needs have surfaced.

They would arise no matter who ‘the other’ is.  Think about that for a moment just to let it sink it a bit deeper.. these needs will arise no matter who the other is.. 

Think back to how you felt after the holidays with the family? Or after a big weekend with friends. Did you have an urge to be alone afterwards or to distance yourself a little from others? An urge just to be with yourself?

This is the same principle,

Listening to your needs and communicating them honestly to the other, helps enormously on the journey of getting to know one another. It can be frightening and will naturally take practise to gain confidence, but it develops trust and a sense that its OK to be yourself, which opens the doors of the heart wider for deep love to enter. 

The benefits of honest relating are limitless and will allow you to move more gently and compassionately through the challenging post honeymoon stage, allowing  the relationship to evolve into something deeper than the simple desire that initially brought you together.  

Deep love is a combination of the honeymoon and the aloneness periods. Its truthful, its spontaneous and it is respectful of oneself and the other.  It acknowledges that each is an individual with different needs..needs that the other can not always fulfil, nor should be expected to.

When its safe to express ones needs, you celebrate each others uniqueness, you offer each other freedom and it is in this space, that love truly blossoms. 

LOVE  is allowing, supporting and encouraging  ourselves and our partners to become the best and the greatest that we can possibly be. Its offers freedom to express and to do, go and be who ever we want to be in this life.

Its not easy, this love business, but it does allow us an amazing opportunity to know ourselves and another.. it is a beautiful journey of self discovery and in my opinion, the reason why we are here.

To discover ourselves. To know ourselves more, to accept ourselves more.. thats the purpose of life and love is the very exciting path in which we do this.

Want Tips on how to communicate your personal needs?  click here

 

Until next time

Mysticmiss

Having trouble understanding how to express yourself to your partner? Go to for tips.

Easy Morning Ritual to create a GREAT day!

Each day is a miracle

There is a precious powerful moment that occurs in our lives. It has the potential to transform our perspective on reality…

And the fabulous news is, that it comes along  every single day of our lives.

 This moment can transform your entire day from a run of the mill, stressed out experience, into a day filled with a sense of joy  gratitude and focus. 

Have you noticed this precious little moment in your day?   

 Its easy to miss it.  It can last for a mere nano second… or as I will explain, with a little effort, can also last a few minutes or as long as you desire.

Its a moment thats so incredibly powerful. Its potential so great, that if recognised and used well,  can transform your day from an average day into something much more wonderful.

This moment I am talking about, is the tiny little moment in your new day when you have become aware that you are no longer sleeping, but you havent yet opened your eyes ?

This little window of time is very unique  because it is so delightfully pure. Untainted with thoughts, concerns worries plans or emotions it is completely empty of content offering you a clean slate in which to start your day. 

Its this tiny little pure slice of your day, that we will be working with.    

 The  Easy Morning Ritual, takes as little as 5 minutes. The techniques are simple and anyone can do it.

Use the EASY MORNING RITUAL in this little window of time in your day and you will usually feel results from Day 1.  To feel changes more deeply, its best to do The EAsy Morning Ritual on a daily basis, working through the techniques each morning. 

If you have only 5 minutes to spare, fine, use it, if you have 15 even better!  The more time you can dedicate, the more you expand this precious window, hence the  greater the effect will be. 

If 5 mins is all the time you have available in the mornings, do each of the rituals for 1 minute, if you have 15mins do each for 3 minutes.

If you forget a day, dont be hard on yourself, simply make a mental note before you go to bed that night to remember to do the rituals the following morning.

Goodluck, enjoy and let me know how you get on.    Until then love and laughter mysticmiss

Mysticmiss’s Morning Ritual – 5 steps to a wonderful day

1.  Say goodmorning to your body

The moment you become aware that you are no longer sleeping, take your attention to your breath in order to connect with yourself.  Focussing on your breath for 5 breaths.

Now take your attention to your feet/legs and work your way up to your head, saying goodmorning to the different parts of your body. 

With sincerity,  thank each part for the role it plays in you being able to exist & live your life.  No need to say it aloud, this can be done silently, the important thing is to say it sincerely, so put your heart into it. 

eg. Goodmorning feet & legs,  thank you for the great job you do so that I can walk, ride my bike and move around so freely, I am really grateful.  goodmorning stomach & digestive system, thank you for the amazing job you do of digesting the food I eat, I am so very grateful for what you do for me.  etc etc

You may say the same things each day or you may change them. You can work up through the general body or can focus on more intricate parts, whatever feels right for you.  

If you have pain or illness in a particular area, be sure to include these in the goodmorning ritual.

If a particular part of the body did a great job for you in the previous day, be sure to praise it.  eg. thank you fingers for the great piano practise yesterday. i enjoyed it so much, thank you! 

2. Visualise the people you love.

Start with yourself.  Visualise yourself, once that visualisation is clear, visualise a beautiful pink bubble surrounding you completely.  The bubble can look misty like a cloud, it can be like a bubble gum bubble, or anything else you visualise as a bubble its up to you. 

Now look into your eyes and give yourself a sincere smile.  Say ‘goodmorning (your name) I wanted to tell you that I love you and I am really proud of who you are and all you do’   have a wonderful day today. Visualise giving yourself a hug.

Move to family/friends/ children/ wife/husband and do the same. 

While you always begin this exercise with yourself , you do not have to do the same people every morning. You can rotate, so do family one day, friends the next, or a mix of both each day. Its up to you. But always begin the ritual with yourself. 

if you have a friend who is having a hard time, this is a great exercise. you can say to them something like this, ‘ i know its not easy for you right now, I am thinking of you and sendng you love’ 

3. Gratitude

Choose things that you are grateful for and say it silently to life/existance/god/buddha/shiva/allah

eg.  ‘Thank you for the great friends I have, I am so grateful they are in my life’

‘Thank you for my loving wife, i am really grateful she is in my life thank you’

‘thank you for my health, I am really grateful’

‘thank you for my the geat sleep I had, I really needed it thank you ‘

 

4. Affirmations

I am inspired by life and am delighted to be here.

I am safe and all is well in my life.

I trust the process of life is on my side always working for my highest good and greatest joy.

Everywhere I look I see miracles.

Beauty in all forms surrounds me.

My health is fantastic.

I am full with vitality

I love life 

My awareness is developing daily.

Everything I touch is a success. 

My days are filled with enormous potential. I can achieve anything I put my mind to.

Say these silently and sincerely with yourself.  You can change these, add to them or create your own.

5. Beginning your day

Focus on your breath for 5 -10 breaths, visualise yourself as relaxed, at peace and feeling healthy. Take a moment to be aware of how these feel as sensations in your body. Look into your eyes and say ‘have a wonderful day …(your name) 

Slowly open your eyes, say hello to the world and move on with your day.