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I live by the ‘everything happens for a reason’ philosophy but I cant get my head around this one

Dancing and Celebrating in IVF after 40

dancing celebrations

 

Im going through my second IVF treatment and have come across something really funny. I really dont understand it and hope someone will shed some light on whats the best course of action.

What is the meaning behind this co incidence.. Its got me stumped.. Im a strong believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’, but I just dont get this one.  

Each time I get to the stage in the IVF process  when the egss have been transferred inside my womb and I have 12 days to find out if Im pregnant or not I find myself attending an event ( pre plannned) that involves dancing and celebrating.

Its really crazy, the first time it was a friends 40th birthday, a big dance party and the second, just now, I had pre arranged tickets to a West African Dance and Music Concert.  

Now Im not going to the events and totally cutting loose, Im taking it easy, Im not drinking, but I am going to the events and celebrating.

Here’s my dilema..  A friend told me, after the first IVF treatment was not successful,  that maybe its good to be at home, quiet and peaceful and resting once the eggs are transferred. OK good idea I thought, but when the day came that the eggs were transferred ( and you never know the date this will happen right as it depends on how your body responds to the treatment) I realised I had tickets to this West African Cultural concert for the following day. 

What baffles me is WHY!  If everything happens for a reason, why is this coincidence happening, why do I find myself in a celebration environment at the exact time of egg transferral?  What is the meaning behind it?   

Is this about being prepared to give up things for the moment or is it a little helper from life to remind me that being relaxed and without stress is very important for IVF success?  Its got me, I cant seem to find which is the right message.. or maybe its something completely different and Ive totally missed the point.

Can anyone shed some light on this?   Share a thought or perspective?

Whats the message..Is it about giving up on things for the moment or about celebrating life in a time when its so important to be as relaxed as possible for the treatment to be successful ?

Continue reading

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IVF at 41 – Relaxed Positive Determined

fruit of life - samanthacallahan.com

fruit of life - samanthacallahan.com

A quick update as I proceed to the second stage of my IVF treatment.  As you know my first IVF treatment was not successful.  Well it was successful in the sense that my body reacted wonderfully to the treatment, producing 13 eggs of which 9 were good enough for fetilization.  When injected with my husbands sperm all 9 were fertilized.  This meant we were blessed with the opportunity to have at least 2 tries for pregnancy with these eggs. 

The first attempt where 3 eggs were inserted was not successful.  It was initially quite devastating, however I have moved through that and found my positivity again. I realised its essential to be positive and to try to visualise a successful outcome.  Determination is also essential as is being calm and relaxed.

Easier said than done sometimes, but its a must.  Im using postive affirmations which I say daily when I wake up and any time throughout the day when I feel fear/worry/insecurity rising. Im also listening to a guided meditation cd 3 times a week and bought a beginners yoga dvd which I do 3 times a week. This combination is really doing the trick.  Since being determined, positive, calm and relaxed are qualitites we need to learn anyway if we are to be great parents, I figure NOW is a great time to start mastering these skills!!  Where our energy flows reality goes!!

I have now begun the process for the second attempt.  As I said I was blessed that my body created enough eggs to allow me at least one more egg transfer, before i need to go through the complete hormone treatment again. So at this stage although i am on hormones its not the whole needle story again.

On the first day of my period, I began taking progynova (2mg)  3 times a day after food. This is a female hormone used in IVF treatments to build up the lining of the uterus in preparation for my egg (embyro) transfer. In laymans terms, it helps develop ‘the wall’ where the egg attaches itself hence creating a pregnancy. 

I have an appointment in 12 days time where an ultrasound will be done to check the thickness of ‘the wall’.  Once its the right thickness, they will insert the eggs and then its a 12-15 day wait to see if I am pregnant.

Its a very straight forward process.  Ive set my cell phone to give me an alarm 3 times a day to remind me to take the pills and apart from that its life as usual.  The hormones dont seem to be having any adverse effects and the accupuncture is,  as usual helping me keep the emotions in balance.  Ill write again after the appointment with the doctor.  Fingers crossed for me.

If this was helpful, please click the digg button so others can read it too. thanks

much love mystic miss

IVF at 41 is going fabulously!

courtesy of bbc.co.uk

courtesy of bbc.co.uk

Im in the final stages of my first IVF treatment and so far my expereince has been a really positive one. Everything was much easier and a whole lot less emotional than either myself or my husband ever imagined it would be. 

Of course we are all individuals and each will respond differently to the treatment. My story is just one experience. However I felt compelled to share it on the off chance that women searching the internet to get an idea of the expereince they may go through, may come across my IVF story and take some ‘feel good energy’ from me.

I remember when I was considering IVF treatment, I was gripped with fear. It all seemed so clinical and cold. Searching the internet I found more horror stories than positive ones and the stories shared in casual conversations about friends of friends just fed the fear rather than calmed the nerves.

By  writing and sharing my story, from the actual decision to have a child at 41 to finding the doctor and beginning IVF treatment,  I have hoped to perhaps be the positive feedback for women that I struggled so hard to find in my searches.  

Ive written posts on my experience from day one of the treatment (all filed under IVF on my home page) and  have been truly humbled by the beautiful connections made with women around the globe who have appreciated my ramblings. Many were, like me, petrified of process and most named the adverse effects of the hormone treatment on emotions as one of their greatest fears. Quite understandable..I was the same who wants to turn into a big bad nasty witch!

My experience has been so positive in this aspect. I have been astounded how simple, easy and smooth the process has been, how little effect the hormones have had one me and how relaxed it is actually possible to be in the treatment. (this is a choice obviously and takes focus, but it is possible)

I am 41.  ‘Quite old’ according to Doctors and a point, they for some reason, have felt important to remind me of on numerous occasions. (not great for the self esteem, hence my post on my emotional wellbeing angel) Add to the age factor, the quality of my husbands sperm, his little swimmers are not really in the greatest of conditions and yes, that made us a classic IVF couple.

 We tried to conceive naturally for 6 months without success. and then began looking into IVF treatment feeling this was the next logical step.  As Ive mentioned, so far its been ok. Well more than ok, the IVF process has been, all things considered, a breeze.

The hormones didnt effect me very much, apart from a bit of tiredness and a little weight gain. Its actually more like bloating, but I was so overwhelmed at how smooth everything was going that feeling a bit ‘fat’ seemed easy to deal with.  

The daily hormone needles ended up being, in a weird sort of way, an opportunity for my husband and I to feel deeply connected to one another in the treatment.  Im totally afraid of needles, so in the daily ritual of injecting me, my husband witnessed both my vulnerability and fear. He developed a very sweet compassion for what I, the woman was going through and within him, a sort of admiration grew. He saw me as being really brave. It was nice.

And here we are, in the final stages. On wednesday, my eggs were taken out. Not a difficult process. You go under for 20 minutes while they do the removal and then spend an hour or two in the hospital afterwards, to let the saline drip put some liquids back in to the system and to have something to eat.

courtesy of bbc.co.uk

courtesy of bbc.co.uk

You are then sent home with instructions to take the anibiotics twice a day and to begin inserting the vaginal tablets 3 times a day.  (hubby graciously offered to be responsible for this chore..bless him.. any opportunity to be up close and personal with his beloved V… I declined his kind offer )  

They took out 13 eggs in total, apparently a great result. 9 eggs were of good enough quality to inject the sperm into and today (friday) when I went back to have the eggs transferred back inside me, we were told all 9 eggs fertilised.

The Doctor decided (because of my age) to put 3 eggs back inside me. This took about 10 minutes and was not at all painful or scary.  And now its a waiting game. In 12 days we have an appointment to go and have a blood test to see if I am pregnant. Gosh !!  Modern technology amazes me. Its mind blowing.. absolutely Mad.  Mad Mad Mad!!!

Who knows what the results will be. Its now in the lap of the gods!  For now my emotional wellbeing is where I am putting my focus. Being relaxed, happy and thinking positive thoughts. Im visualising being a mother, Im doing guided meditations to connect with my eggs to let them know how very welcome they are in my body and Im doing reiki on myself.  My goal is to have as much positive energy around and within me and to feel at ease.  A daily ritual is a great idea to help with this.

Daily chakra clearing meditations help me to feel I am keeping my energy flowing at its best for conception and asking angels to be close to my side helps me to feel I am being supported by the universe.  All a bit airy fairy I know, but I love ‘airy fairy’ and I really feel its helped me have the positive experience Ive had so far.

We’ll see..  Ill write again in 12 days with an update. 


Until then, much love
mysticmiss

IVF and Women In Their 40’s

photo courtesy of acupuncture-medicine.co.uk

photo courtesy of acupuncture-medicine.co.uk

If you are going through IVF, seriously consider finding a Chinese Doctor to compliment the process.  He/She may just well be your life line when your emotions are peaking.

My Chinese Doctor is my Emotional Wellbeing Angel

Last week my husband and I visited our IVF Doctor to go over the process we will be undertaking.

After an hour of listening to the Facts.. how old I am, how old my reproductive system is and how there is only a very small  percentage of women in my age group who successfully fall  pregnant through IVF, I left the Doctors clinic feeling nothing short of terrible.

Tears streaming down my face, my self esteem at level zero, I caught a taxi home and just sat and stared at the wall.  How is it that one can feel so positive about oneself and their health and then a medical  professional can just wipe it out in a few moments?

When speaking to my Chinese doctor prior to going down the IVF path, I mentioned that it was important for me to find a sensitive doctor.  She was very clear in her warning that while IVF doctors are great at what they do, they do not tend to be very sensitive when it comes to ones emotions.  They are the Facts folks!! Period!

‘Thats why you have me’  she said ‘They take care of the technical side of the process and I take care of your emotions.  How right she was!!!

At my appointment with the chinese doctor the next day, I relayed the experience to her. Wow !!! What a different response I got.

She was so positive, reminding me gently that all the hormone tests I had done were very positive, that the tests on the amount of eggs I had were also very positive and that with regular periods, good general health and a good positive attitude, there was no reason the process couldnt be successful. She helped to regain my belief that everything was possible and I left her office, once again optimistic.

Ladies, I urge you to seriously consider finding a good Chinese Doctor, preferably one who specialises in Fertility, to compliment your IVF program. The emotional support is invaluable and could well be a life saver in helping to keep you optimistic, calm and emotional healthy in the often stressful process of IVF.

Until next time

Mysticmiss