Absolutely Fabulous Video Clip

The Miracle Of  Life …

 

Life is fast these days and while I try to stay in the moment in order to  appreciate the every day miracles occuring from moment to moment I forget sometimes. I forget  how amazing life really is and how truly blessed I am to be here.

Thankfully life sends me little reminders and this clip was one of them. Received it  via Facebook and was spellbound..  what a miracle the creation of life is and womens bodies.. wow  what absolute masterpieces.  

Enjoy !

IVF over 40 success story

 

Searching for success stories on IVF over 40 ?  

pregnant at 42

pregnant over 40 success story

You have come to the right place.  Im a success story and this blog details my journey.

I am 43 and the mother of a healthy beautiful sweet little 10 month old son. I was 41 when I started IVF and became pregnant and 42 when I gave birth.

I created this blog to offer  positive information about the IVF process to women over 35 after scouring the internet  myself desparately looking for success stories of women my age undergoing IVF treatments. I was nervous and afraid and really wanted some inspiration yet  I couldnt  find what i needed. So mysticmiss was created and here I am, 20 odd months down the track giving you living proof that IVF over 35 works and being a mum over 40 is most definately achievable.

If  you havent read any of my previous posts, please do.  They are filed under IVF process and were written in ‘real time’, as I was going through each step in the IVF process.  They offer a detailed run down of  my IVF journey and the things I did, for my physical  mental and emotional  wellbeing to help the process along.  They are written utterly from the heart, aimed to give an honest perspective of the journey.

 To share my story with women going through the same process or women thinking about starting  IVF who are searching for inspiration, who want to connect with a success story to help them find the courage to begin has been a truly uplifting experience. I thank all the readers who supported my journey, who offered kind loving words and encouraged me to continue to share my story.  To those of you who are still in the process, i send you my love. Try to keep positive and  keep visualising the outcome you want.   It can happen for you, dont give up, keep the good energies flowing.

I am living proof that becoming a mum on IVF over 40 is possible. I am proof that the  process can be smooth and straightforward and am proof  also that the  journey no matter how emotional and challenging, can be a beautiful one with a happy ending. 

I know that this is not always the case, I know there are women who experience a great many challenges, but when I began my journey and actually all the way through it,  I needed to hear about successes as well as the challenges. I NEEDED to read about womens positive experiences.  I wanted to read positive uplifting information.

So to all of you who have found  their way to this blog I send you my love and my best wishes for the adventure ahead. Keep your thoughts positive, acknowledge your fears but dont let them take over you and keep your heart open.

These I believe are keys to success in this journey.  To believe that you can and will be a mum, to have faith your process will work and to consistantly visualise the outcome you want, to see it in your minds eye clearly. This is the attitude to aspire to.  Sincere blessings to you all.

For the full list of  posts on IVF –  click here

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IVF – Moving Forward Positively

IVF the next step

Reading my posts over the past months, you will know my first IVF treatment experience was a very positive one. Everything went very smoothly and so nicely, with such positive results along the way, we were SURE we would get a positive result when it came time to do a pregnancy test.

However, it was negative and the numbness, disbelief and disappointment that surrounded the days after this were truly terrible.  I didn’t have so much time to really process the feelings. A very sweet friend was being married that evening, a friend was arriving from Australia the following day, less than a week later another friend arrived from the UK and another very dear friend (who is 6 months pregnant) was getting married.  I also received the wonderful news that one of my best friends was 3 months pregnant. It was a period of wonderful celebrations & excitement for these very dear friends coming right at a time when I felt like hiding in a cupboard in the dark with the disappointment of my ‘failure’.

Putting my own feelings aside, I celebrated and connected with the positive energy of the moment and rejoiced in the excitement that these special people in my life were feeling. There were difficult moments for sure, but in hindsight, its clear that in doing this, it was in its own way,  a precious gift I gave to myself also.

When I eventually took  some quiet moments to sit with myself I found that an unconscious rationalising of my circumstances had occurred.  A wise and positive sense of perspective had been created with the absence of ‘my mind’.  I realised a few things that I believe are incredibly important to remember when faced with the disappointment of a negative pregnancy result.

1.  Few things in life work the first time round 

Consider your experience with  finding love, a career, a home and even learning to ride a bike!!  All of these things have usually needed more than one try to find the success and contentment we imagined for ourselves. We have needed to brush off our wounded hearts/egos/ mind and carry on in search of ‘the one’  

IVF is the same. When it doesn’t work the first time its painfully disappointing there’s no doubt of this, but its not a reason to give up. As we do in our lives, we need to learn from our experience and move forward trying to do it better next time round. Maybe its putting more heart in to the diet the doctor suggested, maybe its meditating more regularly in order to keep  stress levels down and the body more at peace during the process, maybe its sleeping more, maybe its simply being more positive, visualising the positive result we want rather than spending the majority of our time gripped by the fear of failure. There are so many little changes we can make to help things along.

2. The financial costs

Its so common and natural when the sense of failure comes that we consider the financial cost of the attempt. ‘What a waste of money’ etc etc. However, its really not helpful to think like this.  Money is money, its purpose is to buy us the things that we need and want in life.  If being a mother is something we really want then its the perfect use for money.  After all, if its not spent on another IVF treatment, at some stage in our life it will eventually be spent on a home, a holiday, a new sofa, car or any other number of ‘things.’ If we really want a child, we really want to experience the joy of motherhood and we are having trouble naturally then money is simply a means to try to get what we want. If you can afford to have another go then why not and if you cant afford it, begin a determined search to find what funding is available, what options are out there for you. There are options, but it means being super determined in your hunt for information.

3. There are no guarantees in life

This is an important one. All throughout our lives we learn this essential  lesson and we need to remember to put it into context in our journey through IVF as well. When we really want something with all our heart, the best we can do is to go for it, to give it everything we have, to believe as strongly as we can that its possible and to do everything that needs to be done. That’s all we can do, life determines the results.

We have all had dreams that we gave our complete heart and soul to that didn’t work out. We have all felt that disappointment, that heart wrenching feeling of not achieving a dream or goal. But we also know that we survived it, we moved on and with time the pain subsided and other wonderful things occurred, other successes were experienced. 

One of the things I believe that help us to move on is that there is no guilt when we know that we really gave it everything we had, we were focused, we were determined, we put our heart and soul into it.   When it doesn’t happen, its devastating and heart breaking but we know we did everything we possibly could to make it happen. Its the best we can do, the rest is out of our control.

After my next period I return to focussing on babies. I am blessed with not needing to do the full hormone treatment as my little body produced enough eggs for another try. I feel good,  I feel determined and I feel very focussed.  So Lets see ..

Until next time

much love mysticmiss

IVF at 41 is going fabulously!

courtesy of bbc.co.uk

courtesy of bbc.co.uk

Im in the final stages of my first IVF treatment and so far my expereince has been a really positive one. Everything was much easier and a whole lot less emotional than either myself or my husband ever imagined it would be. 

Of course we are all individuals and each will respond differently to the treatment. My story is just one experience. However I felt compelled to share it on the off chance that women searching the internet to get an idea of the expereince they may go through, may come across my IVF story and take some ‘feel good energy’ from me.

I remember when I was considering IVF treatment, I was gripped with fear. It all seemed so clinical and cold. Searching the internet I found more horror stories than positive ones and the stories shared in casual conversations about friends of friends just fed the fear rather than calmed the nerves.

By  writing and sharing my story, from the actual decision to have a child at 41 to finding the doctor and beginning IVF treatment,  I have hoped to perhaps be the positive feedback for women that I struggled so hard to find in my searches.  

Ive written posts on my experience from day one of the treatment (all filed under IVF on my home page) and  have been truly humbled by the beautiful connections made with women around the globe who have appreciated my ramblings. Many were, like me, petrified of process and most named the adverse effects of the hormone treatment on emotions as one of their greatest fears. Quite understandable..I was the same who wants to turn into a big bad nasty witch!

My experience has been so positive in this aspect. I have been astounded how simple, easy and smooth the process has been, how little effect the hormones have had one me and how relaxed it is actually possible to be in the treatment. (this is a choice obviously and takes focus, but it is possible)

I am 41.  ‘Quite old’ according to Doctors and a point, they for some reason, have felt important to remind me of on numerous occasions. (not great for the self esteem, hence my post on my emotional wellbeing angel) Add to the age factor, the quality of my husbands sperm, his little swimmers are not really in the greatest of conditions and yes, that made us a classic IVF couple.

 We tried to conceive naturally for 6 months without success. and then began looking into IVF treatment feeling this was the next logical step.  As Ive mentioned, so far its been ok. Well more than ok, the IVF process has been, all things considered, a breeze.

The hormones didnt effect me very much, apart from a bit of tiredness and a little weight gain. Its actually more like bloating, but I was so overwhelmed at how smooth everything was going that feeling a bit ‘fat’ seemed easy to deal with.  

The daily hormone needles ended up being, in a weird sort of way, an opportunity for my husband and I to feel deeply connected to one another in the treatment.  Im totally afraid of needles, so in the daily ritual of injecting me, my husband witnessed both my vulnerability and fear. He developed a very sweet compassion for what I, the woman was going through and within him, a sort of admiration grew. He saw me as being really brave. It was nice.

And here we are, in the final stages. On wednesday, my eggs were taken out. Not a difficult process. You go under for 20 minutes while they do the removal and then spend an hour or two in the hospital afterwards, to let the saline drip put some liquids back in to the system and to have something to eat.

courtesy of bbc.co.uk

courtesy of bbc.co.uk

You are then sent home with instructions to take the anibiotics twice a day and to begin inserting the vaginal tablets 3 times a day.  (hubby graciously offered to be responsible for this chore..bless him.. any opportunity to be up close and personal with his beloved V… I declined his kind offer )  

They took out 13 eggs in total, apparently a great result. 9 eggs were of good enough quality to inject the sperm into and today (friday) when I went back to have the eggs transferred back inside me, we were told all 9 eggs fertilised.

The Doctor decided (because of my age) to put 3 eggs back inside me. This took about 10 minutes and was not at all painful or scary.  And now its a waiting game. In 12 days we have an appointment to go and have a blood test to see if I am pregnant. Gosh !!  Modern technology amazes me. Its mind blowing.. absolutely Mad.  Mad Mad Mad!!!

Who knows what the results will be. Its now in the lap of the gods!  For now my emotional wellbeing is where I am putting my focus. Being relaxed, happy and thinking positive thoughts. Im visualising being a mother, Im doing guided meditations to connect with my eggs to let them know how very welcome they are in my body and Im doing reiki on myself.  My goal is to have as much positive energy around and within me and to feel at ease.  A daily ritual is a great idea to help with this.

Daily chakra clearing meditations help me to feel I am keeping my energy flowing at its best for conception and asking angels to be close to my side helps me to feel I am being supported by the universe.  All a bit airy fairy I know, but I love ‘airy fairy’ and I really feel its helped me have the positive experience Ive had so far.

We’ll see..  Ill write again in 12 days with an update. 


Until then, much love
mysticmiss

What a relief..no transforming into the wicked witch on IVF hormones.

No wicked witch appeared...what a relief

No wicked witch appeared...what a relief

With all the horror stories Id both heard and read about of how women react to the hormone treatment in IVF, I was absolutely terrified. My husband was too.

Im at the best of times, a sensitive, sometimes over emotional soul, so I assumed that on the IVF hormone treatment, Id instantly transform into the wicked witch from the west.   

How surprised we have been. There’s been no change in my mood at all. Its such a relief!!

Sure Im a little more tired than usual, though that could easily be caused by the early morning appointments for blood tests and ultrasounds that are apart of the process in this stage.

On the whole though, theres been no adverse reaction at all. I feel pretty normal. Its really fantastic!!

Tomorrow we have yet another blood test and ultrasound and after the doctor recieves these results, he believes he’ll probably be able to set the schedule for next step of the process, the procedure where they remove my eggs for fertilisation. 

Its amazing how smooth the process has been so far. Both my husband and I feel pretty relaxed and are enjoying the sweet connection created by the morning ritual of him giving me the hormone needles. He was very nervous about doing this, but now sees its really quite easy. We didnt think it would be such a soft and gentle experience. 

My chinese doctor, whom I have visited weekly for accupuncture treatments during this whole adventure has told me she’d like me to have a treatment on the day they take the eggs out and on the day they put them back in, she wants me to have a treatment both before and after the process.

She is such a gem. I call her my emotional wellbeing angel and I couldnt imagine going through the IVF treatment without her. She has offered me a space to share any fears and has treated me according to these. With much of my fear now melted away, she simply continues to ensure my chi(energy) is flowing freely hence helping my body to best deal with the increase of hormones and prepare for pregnancy.

Blessings to her, to my doctor and to the universe for the support I really feel I am recieving.  

Until next time,

much love

mysticmiss

Why a generation delayed becoming parents?

 

photo courtesy of rogermoore.com

photo courtesy of rogermoore.com

Mine is a generation who have enjoyed possibly the most incredible degree of personal freedom of any generation to date. Utilizing this freedom, our lives have become immensly diverse. We have truly experienced life within a global community. 

Could the realisation of our opportunity to be part of a bigger whole, be the reason why many of us have delayed having a family? 

Did it simply give us so much to consider and open so many previously unknown doors to us, that the once traditional transition of adulthood equalling parenthood simply not stimulate us as much as the need to integrate more deeply into our ‘community’ and explore its boundaries?

What is a community?  The oxford dictionary states a community is ‘a body of people living in one place or united by origin or interests’ 

Wikipedia goes further to say ‘the definition of the word has evolved and been enlarged to mean individuals who share characteristics, regardless of their location or type of interaction.’ 

For me, community is the circle of people I live within, the area I live within and consider I am apart of and the area/people I feel I am responsible for. It is the space and the people I care about.

My community is what I consider when making decisions on where to work, live, invest, explore and learn from. Its the area/people I know, I feel safe in and feel I belong to.

Lets take a step back in time to the gereration before mine, for they paved the way. A small number of this generation began to break with tradition. Courageously deciding to act on the yearning within to know the world more, a wave of people began venturing outside their comfort zone and into the relative unknown, exploring the world and connecting with the people.

These adventurous souls were not the first ever global explorers. Not by a long shot, there have been many throughout history. What stands them apart from others however, was their intention not conquer, but to integrate, to learn and to unite. (Think yoga, Buddhism, chakra healing, reiki, tai chi etc)

Our generation took these courageous seekers’ ideals to another level, we created the tipping point.  We, as a mass, grasped the reality of our community being a GLOBAL entity, consisting of the entire population on earth. 

Consider how many friends, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends you know who have gone travelling, exploring and generally living as though the entire globe is his/her home. Living in the reality that the whole world’s opportunities are theirs for consideration. 

How many people do you know that have lived abroad for work or worked for a foreign company based in your own nation? How many people do you know live outside their country of origin? How many people do you know have had a romantic connection/relationship with someone from another country?   How many people do you know that have studied in another country? Or Volunteered abroad?

Now ask your parents and grandparents the same questions for people in their age group. The difference in the results is quite astounding.

Consider for a moment, how many of the ‘things’ that make up your life, come from the global community. The fitness disciplines you enjoy, the food you eat, the movies you watch, the authors you read?  Its simply amazing isnt it, how fast we as a global community have integrated in the last 40 years.

We have been blessed with endless opportunities to explore, experience and reach for goals and dreams regardless how far outside the box they seem. Our minds’ visual boundaries or visual  horizons now naturally span far greater than they ever have done before.

Though our eyes still see perhaps the same ‘real’ distance as our parents, our capability to visualise a reality far greater than this has developed immensely. 

This new vision gently nudged our perspective on life to expand. And with the world a bigger place,  the prospect of staying in one place, settling down and having children seemed not to, for a significant number, to necessarily hold the same appeal as it once did. 

Life offered so many exciting adventures, it seemed ‘almost a crime’ not to try to fulfill some of our wildest dreams before moving into parenthood.  

I’m not saying my generation have not had children. They have, and in great numbers.  Im saying the age for moving to this ‘next phase’ in life changed dramatically for a large number of this generation. Thoughts of parenthood have come much much later and in a significant number, not at all. 

Being one of those ‘much much later’ kiddos, I now ponder on the situation I find myself in.  Deciding to have children at an age that Doctors tell me is almost ‘too late’, I question more deeply, where myself, my experiences and those of others like me fit within the greater global community. What is the impact of our decisions?

Did chosing the fun and adventure of travelling and immersing myself into the global community over the more traditional path of settling down, getting married and becoming a parent, have dire consequences?

I have never felt bad for the life choices I’ve made. Never. I have always been proud of my life. Though, as I move into my own parenthood phase, questions now rise. 

Did  my life choices signify an immature soul,  a girl who refused to grow up and take responsibility OR am I simply an example of the natural evolution of the human species.  

With natural global resources being stretched by the current population,  perhaps this phenomenon of late bloomers is simply an unconscious global balancing act in play.  

Or perhaps, the global community needed wandering souls, to encourage integration, to break the old moulds of race superiority.

Or even,  it was simply time to acknowledge and honor each souls uniqueness, which after all is the essence of the global community. Thus to a major degree, wiping out the old perception that outcast people and saw them as being inferior simply because they did not reproduce.

Or lastly,  perhaps it was important for a large portion of the population to live lives full of free spiritedness and personal development in order to gain a new type of wisdom. A wisdom that ultimately will allow the next generation to experience an even greater sense of freedom than we ourselves have enjoyed.

If only I could click my fingers and the answer would magically appear!  It would be a great help!

Reality is, I’m 41 and now trying to have a child. Not being able conceive naturally due to problems with my husbands sperm, we are going down the IVF route. (modern technology is amazing)

Listening to the doctors, I don’t know if we will succeed. Its a bit unnerving, though I try to keep open hearted about it all.  After all its not the end of the world if I don’t become a parent. Is it?

Having lived my life by the motto that ‘life knows whats its doing always’ it will be interesting to witness my acceptance of life’s decision on this one? 

Trusting that life wants what is best for me is the belief system I have lived my life by til now. So I’ll just do what needs doing  with all my heart… and we’ll see.

Until next time

much love Mysticmiss

IVF – Nasal sprays, daily needles & a fabulous sense of excitement

Ok we are doing it !!  No more procrastinating, no more questions..

Ive  been a witch from the darkest village this past weeks as I come to terms with the deep intense, never leaving me for a moment fear that has taken up residence in my heart. 

I cant put my finger on what it is I am so afraid of.. fear of failure, fear of motherhood, or just plain and simple fear of the unknown! 

My ’emotional wellbeing angel’ (my delightful accupuncturist) suggests its probably all of the above AND says its completely natural. ‘Be gentle with yourself and accept this is how you feel… dont keep trying to fight it or dig too much to pin point why’   were her wise and loving words of wisdom. 

Last night we went to the ‘Professor of Sperm’ to sign all the IVF documents and get a run down of how the process is all going to go. To our surprise, as it was the first day of my period, he said ‘ok lets rock and roll!!!’  

He gave me the nasal spray Syneral with instructions to start shooting it up each of my nostrils from now on twice a day morning and night, 12 hours apart and left his office with prescriptions for Bravelle and Gonel F and instructions to return on Friday to learn how to inject these. 

We were stunned. Wow gosh.. we are doing it !!! Thats it,  we are on the horse, no more procrastinating. It felt good. We were filled with a sense of excitement and ironically, a lightness of emotions that we have both not felt for months. So much of the fear just seemed to melt away. 

We are officially in the IVF process, we are trying a new way to have a baby.. and it feels… well.. great!!